No Inconsequential Choices

12/5/23    "No Inconsequential Choices" by Amber Counts

I reflect on the combination of random, wild, mindless, labored, right or wrong choices made by my parents that resulted in my existence. If one ponders the infinite possibilities or potential parallel universes created by each decision, a mental fight, flight, or freeze reflex takes hold. I feel overwhelmed by the near impossibility of me.

Calculating these moments of fateful decision-making as they compound exponentially through ancestors and time, I freeze in awe not just of my own existence but also of everyone and every historical consequence throughout human history.

And it's not just the choices my ancestors made but also the choices made for them, about them, and around them that continue to shape reality in ways foreseen and unforeseen. For we are all part of a great human tapestry women both together and in isolation, and the thread I carefully weave might be reinforced or unraveled by another.

If we let ourselves really think about the weight of our choices, feel the ramifications of each decision, even the mundane "What do I want for dinner?" would induce crippling fear of negative or unforeseen consequences. So we continue in darkness, in the space between potential universes, under the illusion that some choices matter more than others. 

Memories, Forgotten

12/4/23

When I need inspiration to write, I often read a poem-of-the-day on one of the following sites:

• Poets.org - https://poets.org/poem-a-day 

• PoetryFoundation.org - https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/poem-of-the-day 

12/4/2023 Inspiration: “Yiddishland” by Erika Meitner https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/57958/yiddishland 

My poem…

“Memories, Forgotten” by Amber Counts

I listened to my grandmothers’ stories.

I swear I did.

I leaned forward with anticipation each time

They shared their experiences,

Told tales of our ancestors whom I would never know

(But whose choices still shape reality),

Or allowed glimpses into who they were–

Separate from my grandmothers–

        Who they really were–

        I listened.

And I remember a great deal, but not enough.

My ancestors’ names have begun slipping through

Gaps in my memory.

How many siblings accompanied each of my great-grandparents

Along his or her life’s journey?

Why did my maternal family move to Texas

(And from where did they come)?

How many stories of love, adversity, and perseverance

Are now lost to time?

At least some of that loss is my fault.

So I will tell my children how one of their great-grandmothers 

Skipped school to drag-race

While the other skipped class to ride in an open-cockpit biplane.

And I will record how one married for love

While the other married for War.

And I will report how the love of these two

Infinitely strong and compassionate women

Saved and shaped my life.

At least this will be remembered.

It Was Never About the Jeans.

 

Writing About Holidays

With a busy and diverse holiday season approaching, my creative writing students and I read and appreciated Alberto Ríos's poem "November 2: Día de los Muertos." After discussing the poem's craft and vivid imagery, we talked about how families celebrate, or do not celebrate, various holidays in their own ways. Students felt comfortable writing a poem of at least 15 lines (in honor of Ríos's stanza length) on a holiday of their choice in any tone and structure. I believe it is important to approach such topics with an inclusive attitude rather than the traditional "what do you love about Christmas?" approach.

Since Halloween was on the horizon, I modeled the following writing process as my students worked on their poems. I have included my draft with revisions as well as the final product. I like to show them that writing is always a process, so they see me look at what I've written, make a face, take time to think of elusive words, and choose or create visuals to add alongside my text.

Proctoring: a stream-of-consciousness poem

 

Writing with Mentor Texts #3: The To Un-do List

Mentor text (from movingwriters.org):

My list using the above mentor text as inspiration:

Writing with Mentor Texts #2: Where they Happen to Be

Mentor Text: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2018/national/mass-shootings-in-america/?noredirect=on

Quote from mentor text used as inspiration: “Public mass shootings account for a tiny fraction of the country’s gun deaths, but they are uniquely terrifying because they occur without warning in the most mundane places. Most of the victims are chosen not for what they have done but simply for where they happen to be.”

“Where they Happen to Be” by Amber Counts

Statistically, the chance of a school shooting

occurring at any one given school is small.

Yet it constantly weighs on my mind.

Lest I forget, even for a second, that this

hypothetical horror could become a reality,

we have the annual compliance training

to remind me.

Avoid. Deny. Defend.

Lockdown: Locks! Lights! Out of Sight!

I just read that “victims are chosen not what they have done

but for simply where they happen to be.”

But what if they happen to be in school?

They happen to be in a place where they are supposed to feel safe.

They happen to be in a space designed for learning and discovery.

They happen to be in a place that offers support systems for people who feel depressed or angry.

They happen to be in a place full of America’s hope for the future.

They happen to be with a teacher who will give her life for theirs,

but hopes she never has to.