No Inconsequential Choices

12/5/23 "No Inconsequential Choices" by Amber Counts

I reflect on the combination of random, wild, mindless, labored, right or wrong choices made by my parents that resulted in my existence. If one ponders the infinite possibilities or potential parallel universes created by each decision, a mental fight, flight, or freeze reflex takes hold. I feel overwhelmed by the near impossibility of me.

Calculating these moments of fateful decision-making as they compound exponentially through ancestors and time, I freeze in awe not just of my own existence but also of everyone and every historical consequence throughout human history.

And it's not just the choices my ancestors made but also the choices made for them, about them, and around them that continue to shape reality in ways foreseen and unforeseen. For we are all part of a great human tapestry women both together and in isolation, and the thread I carefully weave might be reinforced or unraveled by another.

If we let ourselves really think about the weight of our choices, feel the ramifications of each decision, even the mundane "What do I want for dinner?" would induce crippling fear of negative or unforeseen consequences. So we continue in darkness, in the space between potential universes, under the illusion that some choices matter more than others.

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