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"Moist" - A Poem about a Much Maligned Word

“Moist” by Amber Counts

In class, we were talking
About words we hate.
I heard a familiar term,
A repeat offender,
That seems to make everyone
Cringe:
Moist.
Don’t believe me?
Say it.
In a room full of people,
Ask how they feel
About “moist.”
Some will wince;
Others will feel motivated
To exclaim in protest.
Someone almost always
Says “that’s gross”
Or “that sounds nasty!”
But I always counter,
Don’t you want your cake
To be moist?
This invariably begins a debate.
What else could we call
Moist cake
But moist cake?
Wet cake? Ew.
Soggy cake? Not appealing.
Juicy cake?
I’m not even sure where to start
With how wrong that is.
Steaks can be juicy:
Cakes cannot.
So what do we use
Instead of moist?
Wet, damp, humid
Tearful, watery, dewy
Misty, rainy, steamy
Muggy, clammy, dank
Soggy, sweaty, sticky –
None of these sound
Like they would be good
For a cake.

Fun fact:
According to an article
By The New Yorker,
The more disgust one associates
With functions of the human body,
The more that person
Displays an aversion
To “moist.”
It’s good to know that those of us
Who enjoy a healthy relationship
With our bodies
Can have our moist cake
And eat it, too.
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