Confessions of a Master Procrastinator

This past weekend, I completed a 30ish page research essay. The road to completion was paved with tears and blocked by the most random acts of procrastination. My research concluded, my essay successful, what I really learned from my three-day writing spree is that I have an almost infinite capacity for distraction and procrastination. Here are some of the clever ideas I had while I was supposed to be focused on writing:

Hair's up - time to write!

#1


My hair is my kryptonite. I simply cannot be expected to write if my hair is down. If, at any point, I realize that my hair is down, I must stop writing immediately - even if I'm in the middle of the most brilliant line ever written - and go style my hair so it's pulled back from my face.





Super-typing nails...'click' 'click' 'click'

#2


I can't be expected to type page after page with nails that can break, so obviously I need to stop writing and immediately visit the nail salon to have acrylic laid over my nails. After all, this will give me superhero typing skills complete with unbreakable nails and that clickety-clack sound that you either love or hate.

#3

All of a sudden, my house seems way too messy. How can anyone be expected to write in such conditions? At the very least, I need to clean the room I'm in. I might as well do some laundry while I'm at it, and when was the last time I mopped? My house is never cleaner than when I have an essay I don't want to write.

The most entertaining squirrel ever.

#4

Writing requires sustenance. I have a sudden craving for Mexican food, but it just happens to be halfway across town at a sit-down restaurant. I just need a little time to get ready before we go, let my hair back down. Oops - there went another 3 hours. On the upside, I did get to watch that squirrel for several minutes outside the restaurant.


#5

Everyone wants to talk to me all of a sudden, or maybe the difference is: I want to talk to everyone all of a sudden. I never make more phone calls or Facebook posts than when I'm supposed to be writing. Clearly, research is good for my social life, except for the fact that it keeps me from actually seeing any of my friends.



Basically, I learned more about myself than I did about my research. When free time is extremely limited due to an approaching deadline, it necessitates choosing what is truly important to you. So, all joking aside, I focused on family, enjoying meals with family, reaching out to friends, and finding joy in the little things - like a squirrel who thinks she's invisible because she's staying very, very still. Looks like it was a pretty productive weekend after all.




Comments

  1. Rosie's Writing JournalJune 30, 2014 at 9:04 PM

    Amber, I could so identify! I have loved reading your post. 30ish pages?? Oh, my! Way to go. :)
    Rosie

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Station Eleven - a Review (With Spoilers!)

Image
Warning: plot spoilers ahead... It's funny. Sometimes, the films and books I enjoy the most are the ones that I initially approached with hesitancy or ambivalence. Having recently finished the second book in a row for our book club that I found merely mildly entertaining, I had no real hopes for Emily St. John Mandel's Station Eleven , which I had not even heard of prior to the suggestion by one of our club members. With no expectations in mind, I skimmed the comments on the back cover and inside flap, but they didn't give much away. Thus, I started reading with almost no information about the book, its author, or even its genre. I knew it was post-apocalyptic, but was it dystopian? Was it similar to Cormac McCarthy's The Road ? Would it feature a teen love story as depicted in both  The Hunger Games trilogy and the Divergent series? I had several post-apocalyptic stories in mind as I began to read; boy was I surprised to find one that was different! Typically, aut
Read more

Prayer to the Teachers to Forgive them for Solely Using TPCASTT

Last year, I began moving away from the formulaic TPCASTT and Somebody-Wanted-But-So methods of poetry analysis in my AP course. I still teach those methods of analysis; any tools my students have for decoding poems that serve as potential pathways toward understanding are valuable, and I want them to have as many tools as possible! However, I found that by emulating mentor texts, my students were able to find all of the poetic devices and reach a deeper understanding of the author’s work. This is simply a natural by-product of analyzing which parts of the poem – diction, syntax, theme, repetition and other devices – that they would like to mimic in their own work. My students came up with some of the most beautiful and deeply personal work I’ve ever experienced – some of which they performed at a poetry slam that they organized at the end of the year. To that end, tomorrow we will read “Forgive My Guilt” by Robert P. Tristram Coffin and “Prayer to the Living to Forgive them for B
Read more

"Moist" - A Poem about a Much Maligned Word

“Moist” by Amber Counts In class, we were talking About words we hate. I heard a familiar term, A repeat offender, That seems to make everyone Cringe: Moist . Don’t believe me? Say it. In a room full of people, Ask how they feel About “moist.” Some will wince; Others will feel motivated To exclaim in protest. Someone almost always Says “that’s gross” Or “that sounds nasty!” But I always counter, Don’t you want your cake To be moist? This invariably begins a debate. What else could we call Moist cake But moist cake? Wet cake? Ew. Soggy cake? Not appealing. Juicy cake? I’m not even sure where to start With how wrong that is. Steaks can be juicy: Cakes cannot. So what do we use Instead of moist? Wet, damp, humid Tearful, watery, dewy Misty, rainy, steamy Muggy, clammy, dank Soggy, sweaty, sticky – None of these sound Like they would be good For a cake. Fun fact: According to an article By The Ne
Read more