Monday, June 30, 2014

Confessions of a Master Procrastinator

This past weekend, I completed a 30ish page research essay. The road to completion was paved with tears and blocked by the most random acts of procrastination. My research concluded, my essay successful, what I really learned from my three-day writing spree is that I have an almost infinite capacity for distraction and procrastination. Here are some of the clever ideas I had while I was supposed to be focused on writing:

Hair's up - time to write!


My hair is my kryptonite. I simply cannot be expected to write if my hair is down. If, at any point, I realize that my hair is down, I must stop writing immediately - even if I'm in the middle of the most brilliant line ever written - and go style my hair so it's pulled back from my face.

Super-typing nails...'click' 'click' 'click'


I can't be expected to type page after page with nails that can break, so obviously I need to stop writing and immediately visit the nail salon to have acrylic laid over my nails. After all, this will give me superhero typing skills complete with unbreakable nails and that clickety-clack sound that you either love or hate.


All of a sudden, my house seems way too messy. How can anyone be expected to write in such conditions? At the very least, I need to clean the room I'm in. I might as well do some laundry while I'm at it, and when was the last time I mopped? My house is never cleaner than when I have an essay I don't want to write.

The most entertaining squirrel ever.


Writing requires sustenance. I have a sudden craving for Mexican food, but it just happens to be halfway across town at a sit-down restaurant. I just need a little time to get ready before we go, let my hair back down. Oops - there went another 3 hours. On the upside, I did get to watch that squirrel for several minutes outside the restaurant.


Everyone wants to talk to me all of a sudden, or maybe the difference is: I want to talk to everyone all of a sudden. I never make more phone calls or Facebook posts than when I'm supposed to be writing. Clearly, research is good for my social life, except for the fact that it keeps me from actually seeing any of my friends.

Basically, I learned more about myself than I did about my research. When free time is extremely limited due to an approaching deadline, it necessitates choosing what is truly important to you. So, all joking aside, I focused on family, enjoying meals with family, reaching out to friends, and finding joy in the little things - like a squirrel who thinks she's invisible because she's staying very, very still. Looks like it was a pretty productive weekend after all.

1 comment:

  1. Amber, I could so identify! I have loved reading your post. 30ish pages?? Oh, my! Way to go. :)